Thursday, March 20, 2014
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Epiphany of the day
The biggest misconception of the 21st century church is that "church" is an event or a destination...when it is truly a personal identity.
Let it marinate, folks.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
THE 4 LEGS OF MARRIAGE
THE 4 LEGS OF MARRIAGE
By Mark Driscoll
The next time you sit in a chair with four legs, consider how unstable it would be with only one, two, or three legs.
Marriage is like that. For a marriage to be stable, secure, and solid, it needs four legs. Anything less, and the marriage starts to fall over and crash.
Grace and I are very honored and excited to be teaching at the Real Marriage event tonight and tomorrow. We don’t pretend to have gotten it all right the first time, but we do find great joy in helping both singles and couples prepare for married life.
For a marriage to be stable, secure, and solid, it needs four legs.
Over the years, we’ve done a number of marriage events, but with five kids, a church, and the demands of life we just cannot spend much time away from home, even though we want to help as many people as we can. Subsequently, we are thankful for the opportunity that technology provides to serve people in any place from one place.
In addition to fielding live questions during the event from people joining us live and online, we will be teaching four sessions, talking about couples as worshipers, lovers, friends, and legacy-makers. These are the four proverbial legs on the chair.
1. WORSHIPERS
The foundation of everything, including marriage, is worship. It cannot be overstated how vital it is that a couple approaching marriage or in marriage worship God together, because your marriage exists ultimately for God’s glory.
However, Satan attacks marriage and has since the beginning. In fact, the Bible opens with a wedding and quickly moves to a war, as Satan did not even show up until after our first parents were married. The reason that Satan so hates Christian marriage is because it is supposed to be a reflection of the gospel, since Jesus loves the church like a groom loves his bride. However, when the Enemy shows up, it is not uncommon for a couple to forget his work and think that their spouse is their enemy, rather than remembering that their spouse is their ally in a war against their Enemy.
The foundation of everything, including marriage, is worship.
Because we both are worshipers and sinners, we are prone to be idolaters. When this happens, a good thing (like marriage or a spouse) becomes a god thing, which is a bad thing. Marriage is not heaven. Your spouse is not your savior. And if the glory goes to the husband or the wife instead of Jesus, it will crush them, because it is too heavy to endure.
On a scale of 1–10, how are you and your spouse or fiancé as worshipers?
2. LOVERS
Before sin entered the world, there was sex. It was without sin and without shame (Gen. 2:18–25). In God’s design, marriage is for one man and one woman. And your standard of beauty is supposed to be your spouse, which helps safeguard against coveting, lusting, and adulterating.
Once sin enters the world, sex is prone to be seen as a god or gross.
Those who see sex as a god are consumed by it, addicted to it, and ruled by it. Pornography is fuel for this forest fire that is burning down marriages at an unprecedented rate. Sex as God is dominant in the world.
Marriage is not heaven. Your spouse is not your savior.
Those who see sex as gross are often thinking about how gross “sex as god” is, but they forget sex as the real God intended it and redeemed it. Sex as gross is dominant in the church.
The answer to sex as god or gross is to see sex as a gift (1 Cor. 7:3–5). God gives us this gift for a variety of reasons, including pleasure, children, knowledge, protection, comfort, and oneness.
On a scale of 1–10, how are you and your spouse as lovers?
3. FRIENDS
To say that God is Trinitarian is to say that God is a Friend who has Friends. To say that we were made in God’s image is to say that we were made to be a friend and have friends. This is why, even though sin had not yet entered the world, God said it was not good for us to be alone (Gen. 2:18). His answer for our loneliness was a friend called a spouse.
This concept is almost entirely missing in every one of the 187 marriage books that Grace and I opened in preparation for writingReal Marriage. However, we believe that friendship is incredibly vital to marriage. This concept of friendship, and what it is and is not, has transformed our marriage. We often stress to our children, singles in our church, and married couples we know that friendship with your spouse (or potential spouse) is absolutely essential. A friendship is like a garden: it has to be planted, tended, nourished, and weeded for it to be fruitful and alive.
On a scale of 1–10, how are you and your spouse or fiancé as friends?
4. LEGACY-MAKERS
The first day of marriage is incredibly important. But the last day of marriage is the most important.
Will you still be married? Will you be friends? Will you look back on your life with your spouse smiling or weeping?
Proverbs 13:22 says, “A good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children” (NIV). What kind of legacy will you leave maritally, spiritually, and financially? Do you have a plan to leave a godly legacy?
A friendship is like a garden: it has to be planted, tended, nourished, and weeded for it to be fruitful and alive.
There are days in every marriage where we are ready to throw our hands in the air, throw our towel in the ring, and throw wisdom to the side. On those days when folly is near, we need to keep wisdom on our horizon and keep walking toward the future that God has given us a vision for.
On a scale of 1–10, how are you and your spouse or fiancé as legacy-makers?
Monday, February 24, 2014
More the a musician. ..
It's been a long road. But I'm so ecstatic to say I finally out of the mold. Broken free. I've always known my capacity and purpose....but I'm able to be respected and valued for the business acumen God has blessed me with more than the notes I play.
I've heard often of musicians feeling as though they were just an "organ monkey". I never gave much credence to the stance. Until the last 12 years. It is cool to be thought of as a decent or at least an average musician....but if that's all you ever are....is that really enough for you? Never was for me. Music is and has always been a passion but only a stepping stone to more meaningful pursuits.
What has been the most difficult is the scores of people that will never see me as anything but an "organ monkey".
I encourage you to never let others define your level of ascension. Never let what others perception of what you have to offer dictate what you give. Never take the price tag others hang on you as your actual value you assign to yourself. Others may see your capabilities limited at the most menial of tasks.....never let that stop you from seeing who you really are....destined for a life of significance....a life that matters......now go and live that out.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Capacity
Maximum capacity....
Exactly what is our capacity? Have you ever felt like you've had "enough"? When everyone else seems to be happy with life as it is? A ever growing rumble of discontentment? Not sure why because everyone says you are fortunate? But itlike it's all just stale? Feel as if you're settling? Everyone says you should be thankful and you're being ungrateful. Could be your job, your relationship, your marriage, your church, your friendships....even your house or city you live in.
I'm going to be transparent about my own experience. For this purpose you should know I am not religious but I am in a relationship with God. I am not a christian by choice....I am a disciple of His by destiny. So do understand there will not be religious rhetoric but I will refer to the way my life is governed by His principles. (No worries if this confuses you. Most christians don't get it either.)
I've always known that I was meant for more. To make a difference in millions of lives. Although never encouraged as a child by a bitter single mom, my grandmother encouraged my big dreams. But with every accomplishment and every misstep...I knew there was more. I found purpose as a minister of minister for several ministries in my lifetime. Unfortunately I have discovered that with every ministry I have been blessed to be a part of, there has always been an overwhelming tendency of those working with me to assume that I had arrived to stay. I tend to believe that most in ministry, instead of seeing people with gifts and talents as trees to be cultivated, grown, and sent out to replicate.....they see them as wood to be cut down to build up their vision and dreams.
Here's a little nugget: If the departure of any one person would cause any discomfort in your business, church or organization....you have placed too much weight on that one beam. They should never be a load bearing wall....but a tree in a forest of flourishing people....providing shade and fruit.
But I disgress, I have been on this road of uncommon destiny for a decade now. I'm used to not being understood. The unrest in my belly has been building for 15 years. Its to the point that I can't physically stomach mediocrity. I prefer not to have any conversations with the small minded. It feels as if I'm dishonoring the minutes of life God gives me by wasting it with those that choose to remain superficial. I'm of two minds about it all. I recognize that I must extend grace to those that don't quite "get it" yet because there's a whole heap of things I don't "get" yet. But where is the point where you start sacrificing your purpose, destiny and dreams to stay stuck in the mediocre crap heap that everyone else seems perfectly happy to wallow in? God plainly said to me, "Enough is enough...time to move and stop being their crutch." So I did.
The Bible says in Joshua 24:15 (KJV)
15 "And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
The generally accepted interpretation of this scripture is "choose between the devil and God". But that's the lazy interpretation of someone who doesn't want to be accountable for their own life. "gods" is lowercase because people serve all sorts of gods. Including christians. I will not serve anyone else's "god" of interpretation of what "church" looks like. I will not serve a denomination. I will not serve theology. I will not serve popularity. Not a hot band. Not having a great sounding praise team. Or a hype service. Nor emotional junkies. All "gods". Whether we want to admit it or not.....they are. I will not serve the god of fundraising.
Quite simply, how can I claim to serve the all powerful God, claim special access to Him, say I am an overcome (as a black man and a christian); say I am made in the likeness of a God of abundance and live in abject poverty (less than 60k a year) and a life of insignificance? And be surrounded by people who actually think that's ok? I cant. I wont. Not any longer. I can't look my daughters in the eyes and expect any better of their future husbands. Any one with any common sense can't do the same....not honestly.
I've been blessed to acquire relationships with people that share my discomfort with the ordinary. I am so excited to move into the unknown with them. I love those I've had to disconnect from. But they've made their decision by their actions. I will always have an extended hand to help them up. But I will not help decorate a house built in the squallor of mediocrity.
I refuse. I will not disappoint God by misrepresenting Him. He is love. So will I be. He is grace. So will I be. He lives in abundance which He shares with others.....so will I. He has destined me for a life of significance on a global scale.....solely for one purpose.....to show the world what is possible with the kid that made all the wrong choices....told he would never amount to anything....and written off by all.....
I refuse to live and die....nothing more than a great musician.....good organist.....good producer....good preacher....good friend....Good dad.....a good church member.....i was meant for more....so much more. The word christian means "Christ like". Its a cliche nowadays. A catch phrase. What it really means is to experience what Christ experienced here.
The Bible says in Matthew 5: 10-12
10 “You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.
11-12 “Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble."
Seems to me...I'm on the right course. Because I have reached my capacity for mediocrity. And the only ones upset are the ones my gifts are no longer availiable to. It's called sifting.....separating the wheat from the tares.
The ones that see my destiny applaud my growth and having been pushing me to move....and there's the other group.
Real talk....it might be time for you to take inventory and dare to be about the faith you've been singing and spewing but not living. Find out who's really about you reaching your destiny or about you reaching into your pocket to fill theirs.
Are you at your maximum capacity for mediocrity?
Happy singles awareness day
